


After Shiro

by goeunchan



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender, vld - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Childhood Memories, Coping, Galaxy Garrison, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Korean Keith (Voltron), M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Other, Pining Lance (Voltron), after shiro's disappearance, klance, slight Sheith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-23 12:24:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10719300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goeunchan/pseuds/goeunchan
Summary: the team has to figure itself out without Shiro, Keith remembers some stuff from his childhood, & Lance just wants to make sure he's okay





	1. 1

When they didn't find Shiro inside the black lion, Keith took a small step back. He was suddenly conscious of all the sounds around him, of the worried voices of the other palladins, of the magical hum of the castle. Then Coran. Then Allura; Allura trying to rein the situation in, the voice of officiality and composure.  
  
"Paladins," she was saying, and her mouth was moving and sound was coming out but Keith couldn't really understand any of it. Everything that came to his ears was garbled and off-putting, a hazy nonsense like the sounds of the broken radio his dad used to sing along to.  
  
Keith remembered the static of the radio well. He remembered the warped voices and his childhood attempts to find their words among the noise. Maybe he'd failed because he didn't know the language all that well, because his father himself didn't even know it all that well and because his father's father, who liked to teach him and lecture him about all the culture that he wasn't being exposed to, had gone back to Korea a while ago and they'd lost all contact since.  
  
And so for that reason it had been mostly English in Keith's childhood, except for the radio and the singing, and he had always liked to think that it had something to do with his mother. That one day she had heard his father sing in Korean and she'd fallen love. That the radio was playing, this time clear and unbroken and staticless, clean through the air, and she'd wandered up to the house and she'd stopped and listened, caught up by the beauty of it. Caught up by the soft sounds and petals - because Keith always imagined petals - and a slight breeze that made her feel like something important was happening.  
  
Then she waited there, dazed, and didn't notice his father had exited the house and was staring straight at her.  
  
Or at least that's what Keith liked to think. What he used to think before he learned he was Galra and his entire self-concept shifted. These days he couldn't even remember his father's voice. All that remained of him was the dusty radio and its incomprehensible discord.

  
"Keith."  
  
" _Keith._ "  
  
It was Lance, his hand on Keith's shoulder, the other on Pidge's.  
  
"Look, we're going to find Shi-"  
  
But Keith brushed his hand off and he was already leaving. He needed to be alone right now. He was still hearing the radio static, hearing Shiro telling him he wanted him to be leader.  
  
"Keith," Lance called. "Wait, I-"  
  
He was trying to go after him, Hunk just behind and prepared to help. But Allura shook her head.  
  
"Let him be," she said calmly, placing herself between the remaining paladins and the door.  
  
Although Keith didn't say anything to her, he was grateful.  
  
\------  
  
When Lance got to his room, he couldn't stop thinking about the expression on Keith's face. The faraway look of reminiscence, of loss. He'd seen it before, certainly. On Pidge when she was thinking about her family. On Allura and Coran when they thought of King Alfor and the whole of Altea. On Shiro after all that had happened to him.  
  
And Lance had known Keith long enough to see that expression in him, as subtle as it was, with the one eyebrow slightly furrowed and his mouth a simple line.  
  
The first time Lance had seen him like that was at the Garrison. He'd been looking for Hunk in the mechanics workshop, but was surprised to see Keith there instead. The boy who he called his rival. The most promising pilot in the Garrison in spite of his temper (but most likely _because_  of it).  
  
And there he'd been. Keith Kogane, sitting in one of the ships, eyes in a lull staring at the grey metallic ceiling. _That_  expression on his face.  
  
Lance had gotten used to staring at him like this. From afar. All silence.  
  
But then Keith began humming, or singing, or something in between, and the sound of half-words reverbrated throughout the workshop.  
  
It was some kind of love song, Lance could tell, even if he didn't understand a single word, and he found himself so drawn to Keith's lonely voice that he half-closed his eyes, head resting against the wall, and listened.  
  
He'd never seen Keith in such a state, not once in all the secret glances, all the aimless walks throughout the Garrison hoping to run into him. This was something new to Lance.  
  
For a while, he was able to forget everything that worried him. He could no longer hear the laughter and ridicule of his classmates after he'd made a mistake or the harsh reprimands from the captain which echoed in his every move, assuring him he'd never amount to anything. At that moment, Lance forgot it all. The feeling of his face red hot in shame. Jokes spilling from his quick tongue. Words trying to salvage his worth. None of that, no.  
  
Right now it was only him and the song and the boy singing it. Keith was all swift lips and melted words, a face that became softer at each chorus.  
  
When it ended, Lance got up and quickly left the workshop, almost tripping over himself in the process, his legs swaying as he walked. He felt like he was coming up to the real world after a lifetime under water, and a barely noticeable smile had found its way onto his lips. The feeling of peace played itself repeatedly in his mind as he walked the long lighted corridors.  
  
He wandered half-heartedly in search of Hunk for a while, muttering Keith's broken Korean to himself.  
  
"Sarang-something, sarang-something," he whispered.  
  
He almost wanted to tell Hunk about what he'd witnessed but knew that he couldn't. It was Keith's private moment, something too intimate to share. He should have never been spying on him in the first place.  
  
But also, deep down in those selfish parts of his mind, Lance wanted to keep the experience to himself, safeguard it like the last cookie in the box.  
  
"Sarang-something, sarang-something."  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written in 20 billion years sorry if this was trash, there's still more lol. Also fyi, sarang means love


	2. 2

It was Pidge's idea, as usual.  
  
Galra tech could be tracked and Shiro's arm was Galra tech - that was the simplified explanation at least. "What this means is that we can find him," she told Lance, voice fast and firm, computer light glaring off her glasses. She was surrounded by piles of notes and calculations, Slav at her side.  
  
Lance made a cheap joke and elicited from her a weak smile. That was the first sign that there was something wrong; she wouldn't even fight him on his stupid puns anymore.  
  
Lance sensed a sort of desperation in her, like she was gradually becoming unhinged, each loss too taxing. She hid it well, of course, beneath the veneer of hard work and long scientific ramblings. Sleep no longer existed for her. There was only work to be done and Shiro to find, and sometimes Hunk had to physically pull her away so that she'd eat at least one small meal. She'd already lost one brother after all; a second would be too much to bear.  
  
"We need to travel here," Pidge announced, gesturing at a dot on the blue hollographic map. She was bouncing a leg up and down. Lance knew it was because she was trying to stay awake.  
  
"To build the tracker, I need a type a metal found only here. Its composition suggests that it has a high reactivity to the metal used in galra tech, and all of my simulations tell me that this will work with my design plans. Admittedly, the tracker is a bit of a long-shot but we don't -- well, we don't have many options. So, are we all in?"  
  
Everyone in the room nodded.  
  
Lance only hoped Pidge's plan would work. Although everyone had slowly gotten used to Shiro being gone, his absence still proved disconcerting.  Hunk would prepare an extra plate of food. Allura would share looks with the empty space by her side. And the paladins were certain they'd heard the black lion crying, making a machine-like feline noise that was not quite right.  
  
Lance himself felt bare. Uncomfortable and apprehensive because Shiro gave him a sense of protection and belongingness he'd never quite felt before, a safety net that had now been slashed to pieces.  
  
At night time when Lance couldn't sleep, he visited the black lion and slept on its paw. Sometimes it whirred a bit, soft and constant, as Lance told it stories, told it what he couldn't share with anyone else.  
  
"Listen, I don't want to make Blue jealous," he'd say. "So I'll see you tomorrow."

 

* * *

  
  
  
Keith was thinking again. He was lying on his bed, head aching and fist clenched. He'd waited _years_  for Shiro to come back after the failed Kerberos mission. He'd searched endlessly, obsessively for him. And now he had to convince himself that this was merely another bump in the road.  
  
_Patience yields focus._  
  
And he relaxed his clenched fist.  
  
When he'd first met Shiro, he'd felt small beside him. There was something like a two feet difference, and a divide miles wide. It was because Keith didn't trust him then. Really, Keith didn't trust anyone. Being alone was a matter of life, and when Shiro asked him if he wanted to be his protegé, it made him angry. He didn't know why in the beginning.  
  
He first decided that it must have been because of Shiro's tone. It was didactic and annoying and like a teenager who fancied himself a grown adult.  
  
But the next day, Shiro spoke to him, helped him, treated him like a friend, and so Keith decided that it must be something else. Rather, he was angry because Shiro treated him like a child, like a fool, like someone who didn't know how to do anything.  
  
But the next day, Shiro didn't offer a bit of help because "you learn by doing", and so Keith decided he was angry not because of Shiro but because of himself. Because he didn't know how to accept kindness. Because he didn't know how to have friends, or mentors, or people who brought you lunch when you didn't ask for it. People who praised you and challenged you and reminded you a bit of what it was like to have family.  
  
He was angry because he didn't know how to act around Shiro. Because Shiro did too much for him and he could only offer whispered thank you's in return, stumbled words of gratitude and eyes hidden behind wisps of hair.  
  
He even tried pushing him away, but Shiro always came back.  
  
And so little by little, Keith grew comfortable. Little by little, he learned. There were piloting lessons and small birthday celebrations and the two of them talking about the future. Quickly like that, time passed and the gap between them closed.  
  
When Shiro told him about his mission with the Holts, Keith gave him a soft goodbye. A handshake, no hug. But Shiro pulled him into one anyway.  
  
"Take care of yourself, Keith."  
  
And on the night it was announced that something had gone wrong on the mission, Keith went over that line in his head, their last goodbye, his twisted up feelings spilling out at the irony of it all. For the first time in a long time, he felt true anger again, the kind of anger that couldn't be resolved through tears or punches or screams, though he wanted to do all three.  
  
It was the kind of anger that would only go away when he saw Shiro again. Safe and alive.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter, thanks for reading !!

It had been a while since the team had used their lions. No one except for Lance had even gotten near them. Keith especially steered clear. He couldn't picture himself leading Voltron, couldn't picture himself as the next Shiro or anything of the sort, and when he heard the low cries of the black lion, he felt a guilt that he couldn't face.

  
But on the night before he and Lance were meant to go to the blue dot on Pidge's map, he snuck down to see the black lion. He felt that it was time he assume some responsibility, attempt to become the sort of person that Shiro thought he was.  
  
So he walked up to the black lion, placed his hand on its cold metallic head, but it did not stir.  
  
"I need you to help me," he said, but there was no response. It was as if the lion were an empty shell, completely unresponsive. Scratches and dents covered its body, and Keith wondered if it was Pidge who normally did all fixes. He'd never thought about it before.  
  
Keith tried the black lion once more but achieved nothing. He had the sensation that it was a bit like knocking on the door of an abandoned house. As he considered this, he heard footsteps approaching. Firm and rhythmic. Lance's walk.  
  
Keith hid in a recess in the wall as he saw the other boy enter, a small blue pillow in his hand and a sleeping mask in the other.  
  
"How's one of my favorite sons?" Lance asked the black lion. At that remark, it lit up and made a noise. What it meant, Keith had no clue. Then, to his surprise, Lance set his pillow on the black lion's paw, lied down, and covered his face with the sleeping mask, as if this were all normal and routine.  
  
"Keith and I are going on the mission tomorrow," Lance was telling the lion. "You know, for the metal for Pidge's tracker."

He sighed.  
  
"I hope it works. Though it's Pidge, right? And she's a huge nerd so it's gonna work."  
  
There was silence for a moment.

Keith was about to sneak out when Lance started humming. And it was a song that Keith knew from somewhere, a melody that he couldn't quite place.  
He stayed put in the wall's niche and wracked his brains. Maybe it was something he'd heard at the space mall. Some kind of elevator music.  
  
After a while, he was certain that it was just that. He was certain it was just one of those little sing-songy things that Lance liked to annoy people with. Like that Rick-Roller thing or whatever it was called.  
  
But then Lance was whispering, singing in Korean, fluid and fluent just as any native speaker would, and Keith recognized the song instantly. His father's song. His petal-and-a-slight-wind-blowing-and-falling-in-love song.  
  
The song that he'd all but forgotten, that he himself could never properly sing.  
  
"You...speak Korean?" Keith interrupted, coming out from his hiding spot.  
  
Lance removed his sleeping mask, smoothing his hair down and composing himself. If he was surprised at Keith's sudden appearance, he showed no signs of it. 

"What, like it's hard?" he asked, a smile on his face. Keith approached him and sat down.  
  
"Where did you- Where did you hear that song?"  
  
Lance looked away, silent.  
  
"Do you know what it's called?" Keith said, face hopeful.   
  
"Uhh, 'I love you'," Lance muttered, stare still averted. Then his eyes became the slightest bit wide and he looked back at Keith. "I mean that the song is. The song is- it's called 'I love you', _'saranghaeyo'_. Pretty generic title."  
  
Keith was nodding fervently, remembering bits and pieces of his father's voice. He was oblivious to Lance's flustered stuttering. He leaned in closer to him.  
  
"Sing it for me." He pulled back a little after saying that, realizing he never acted this enthusiastic about anything and he was too close to Lance's face. The blue in his eyes was just the slightest bit startling.

"Or write down the lyrics..." Keith trailed off. "Please."

"I could just sing it, if you want," Lance said. He felt Keith's eyes on him and looked at the floor again. He was fiddling with his hands, working up the courage to look up at the other boy's face. It was glowy and optimistic and everything the opposite of the past few days.  
  
"Sing it with me then," he said, knowing that Keith wouldn't resist a challenge.  
  
And so the two began, Keith mispronouncing and forgetting lines and Lance's voice cracking at the most inopportune moments.

But it was okay.  
  
They laughed about it and everything became okay. All of the fear and hesitance and tangled up emotions rose out through the air in sound. A smile settled on Keith's face and Lance had never felt so lucky. Because here they were, after Shiro, and they knew they would find him.

They knew everything would be alright so long as they had each other.


End file.
